Our Sense of Humor

31 Sayings Guaranteed To Get You Fired

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
8. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
9. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
10. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
11. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
12. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
13. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your point of view.
14. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
15. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
16. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
17. I'm not being rude. You're just not very insignificant.
18. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
19. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
20. This isn't an office - it's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
21. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
22. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
23. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
24. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
25. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
26. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
27. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
28. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
29. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
30. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
31. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paychecks.