Our Sense of Humor

Country Wisdom

• Don't name a pig you plan to eat.
• Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong.
• Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
• Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps
• Mortgaging a future crop is like saddling a wobbly colt
• A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
• Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.
• Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
• Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
• Meanness don't happen overnight.
• To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.
• Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
• Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.
• Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful.
• Two can live as cheap as one only if one don't eat.
• Don't try to corner something meaner than you.
• You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies.
• Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.
• It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
• You can't unsay a cruel thing.
• Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.
• Every path has some puddles.
• When you wallow with pigs, you should expect to get dirty.
• The best sermons are lived, not preached.
• Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.
• Lazy and Quarrelsome are ugly sisters.