Our Sense of Humor

Rules For Gunfights

US MARINE CORP RULES FOR GUNFIGHTS
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover / concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect your flank at all times.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In 10 years, nobody will remember the weapon, caliber, stance, or tactics. They will remember who lived.
13. If you’re not shooting, you better think about trying to communicate.

NAVY SEALS RULES FOR GUNFIGHTS
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Return as quickly as possible to looking extremely cool in the latest beach wear.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US ARMY RANGERS RULES FOR GUNFIGHTS
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from"Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

ARMY RULES FOR GUNFIGHTS
1. Select a new beret to wear
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear

US AIR FORCE RULES FOR GUNFIGHTS
1. Have a cocktail
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner. See what's on HBO
4. Determine "what is a gunfight"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DoD & defense industry executives
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets
8. Declare the assets"strategic" and never deploy them operationally
9. Tell the Navy to send the Marines

US NAVY RULES FOR GUNFIGHTS
1. Go to Sea
2. Drink Coffee
3. Watch porn
4. Send the Marines