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| EVENTS Magazine PO Box 21151 St. Simons Island, GA 31522 (912) 638-1349 Fax 634-2365 Email EVENTS |
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Why I Wish I Were French I’ve come to the conclusion I wish I were French - if just for a little while. |
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The Horth Withperer Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. Sam asks "How will I recognize him?" |
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Lovebugs: You Get More Splat w/ the Pair! Summer seems to bring everything south, but one sure sign of summer is the twice-yearly appearance... |
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Why Parents Drink The boss of a large company, needing to talk to one of his employees about an urgent computer problem, phoned the employee's home and was greeted with a child's whisper. |
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Poor Little Kitty... Clutching their Dillard's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. |
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That Was Some Sort Of Potent Parable, Padre Gems From The Mouths of Babes |
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Shania Twain’s Nothing But Trouble! Canadian lager-lover Matt Brownlee, 33, with a long record as a drunken driver, was acquitted of criminal DUI charges in Ottawa, Ontario, after psychiatrists concluded that his latest accident was the result of a sincere belief that singer Shania Twain was helping him drive the car. |
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Country Wisdom Don't name a pig you plan to eat. |
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Exploding Toads Baffle Experts Hundreds of toads have met an unexplained, explosive demise in Germany in recent days. |
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Village Idiot The competition was fierce and foolish, but a man who accidentally sawed through a live powerline and then wrecked his truck a hours after buying it more than earned the honorary title "Village Idiot." |
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How To Weigh Yourself Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner... as well as in the morning, without clothes, before breakfast, because it's nice to see how much weight you've lost overnight. |
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Changing Light Bulbs How many church members does it take to change a light bulb? |
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Rules For Gunfights US Marine Corp Rules for gunfights. |
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Just How Did You Break Your Arm? A good friend just got back from a holiday skiing trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart - if they have cockles, that is. |
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Balls & The Brass Monkey This is an interesting and true bit of history about cannon balls! |
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Christmas Golf Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how for Christmas this year he'd love to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round of golf at their favorite course. |
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Tips on Holiday Eating Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. More... |
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When Teeth Pulled, Memory Goes Faster When your dentist pulls an aching tooth he could be yanking out some of your memory at the same time... |
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31 Sayings Guaranteed To Get You Fired I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it. |
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Life in the 1500s Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. More... |
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There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. |
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History... Revisited The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between fifth and 6th grade ages in Ohio. |
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Tender Hearts Animal Rescue Answering Machine Message Hello, You have reached 123-4567, Tender Hearts Rescue. |
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The Difference Between Love & Infatuation Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford... |
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Federal Employee Evaluations These are actual evaluations collected by a retired Social Security employee who spent her entire career in the Personnel Department. |
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A Few Reasons Why English Is So Hard To Learn The bandage was wound around the wound. More... |
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Dear God Musings from the true innocents of the world toward an all-powerful being. |
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22 Reasons Why Being a Republican Ain't Easy The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq. |
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14 Reasons Why Being a Democrat is Confusing I am confused. Lemme see, have I got this straight? |
| Political Doctrines DEMOCRAT REPUBLICAN
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